Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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