I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Oh god it's open bar.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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