You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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