I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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