Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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