so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize