he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i need to put some appletini on your dick
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
