And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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