Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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