It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Pooping to opera.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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