WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
