He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
