your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize