What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
