I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
