Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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