I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
