he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
