our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
