Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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