The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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