She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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