i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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