They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Boobs speak an international language.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
