u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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