I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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