Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
