i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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