what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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