now i know why i became what i already was.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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