I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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