I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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