Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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