let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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