I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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