i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize