But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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