if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
