well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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