Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
