I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
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He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
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Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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