Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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