There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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