I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Never joke about your clitoris.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize