I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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