Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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