It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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