Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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