Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
