I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
