dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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