we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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