I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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