I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize