he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize