is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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