She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I will pee on everything he values.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will