did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?