Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
