we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
