Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
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We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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