I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Randomize
